to you by lita

By lita, High School Student

We used to get along. You used to look back at me and
smile with joy at all the things we did together. I always
yelled about how I couldn’t wait to be you.
Now I don’t know where you are. Who you are.
You left.
They said that you left to fight your demons.
To fix you. Now I wonder what kind of
broken you are. Are you broken like that of a
shattered china plate or ripped like a cloth?
Are you broken like the TV that I broke playing
hide and seek in our brother’s room?
Where did you hide the cracks of your broken body?
Is that why you wore clothes too big for your body?
Were your cracks in places people weren’t meant
to see? In places people weren’t meant
to touch? Or did you pick up the broken china and the torn cloth
and broken TV and lock them up inside you?
Is that why you’re always tired? Because you carry
all these broken things with you everywhere you go?
Why didn’t you let them go? Maybe if you left the
broken pieces alone, you could run like you did
with me around the playground?
Oh.
Am I the broken piece?
Is that why you left me?
So you could run around by yourself
without carrying me everywhere you go?
To be carefree and fixed by yourself
while you grow?
Did you leave me in the past
because I was broken?

-your younger self